Norma- norma

Dalam usia yang masih muda ni, tak adil rsenye bile aku berlaku zalim pd diri sendiri...aku patut lalui semua dengan ikhlas dan penuh redha. Tapi salahkah jika aku masih mencari yang terbaik utk diri aku? Yang faham aku sefahamnya. Tak kira macam mane kompleks pun komposisi emosi aku. Dia perlu memahami. Aku perlu seseorg yg kemanusian nya tinggi. Yang tinggi peri. Kerna, bagi aku.. Sifat itu yang mendorong manusia normal pd paksi kehidupan. Kembali bila telah jauh pergi. Dan aku perlu seseorg yg kasih dan sygnya tidak penah tandus. Mustahil. Itu sifat pencipta. Jika kamu seorg yang tidak menghargai aku. Ku mohon. Kamu pergi.

Kasih dan syg ku pd diri sendiri masih kuat. Tak mungkin aku mengalah kerana kamu. Tak mungkin ku beri kehidupanku pd kamu. Jika itu mmg kamu. Aku rela dibualkan ramai kerana yg menanggungnya aku. Biar org yg aku tak endah kecewakan ku. Jgn kamu yg ku kisah menganiayaku.

Jika, perlu ku undur, ku undur. Jika perlu ku teruskn, kuteruskan. Hanya pd mu Allah ku memohon petunjuk dan bimbingan. Bimbingi ku kearah yg membahagiakan diri, keluarga dan mereka yg membahagiakan ku. Jadikan aku manusia yg adil, jdkan temanku teman yg adil. Agar tiada kata kata berbangit di ungkit kelak.tunjukkanlah. Aku redha.

i hope i'd become more matured to sync my life perfectly with yours. But i cudn't put aside my missing feeling when u're impossible to reach. I really hope tomorrow is friday. Lets end this. Please.

work it out!

it's weird when i'm not blabs about weight lately...last week i had very bad fever and pain all over the body. was unwell and not good in any ways. yet, for what ever my condition is! i still have that friggin taste of delicious meal.omagaaaadddd!! never lost, never fail. jap eh, nk kasi gambo mknn...nyumm...

my sarap moment..omelet, porridge, caramel pudding.

george and dragon- delicious mash potato+sirloin steak

soto wak radoll...sedapnyeee

ohhhyeahh! rojak asma pojaan hati..

seafood @ SS. sodap jugak..

secret time with my friend kalor dan kabor

seafood lagi.ketam sgt yummeh!3 rse pon yummeh 100x

pizza's moment

UTM snack!sushiiiiiiiiiiiii~~~

legendary!!!!meet my cokodok pisanggg <33

and  now is the outcome of great and good food we had for life!

oh pipi!

oh lengan! oh mata sepet sebab oh pipi makin tembam!ahha!

 

ok sekian, aku out.

ILY

today

is 

the day i celebrate my 2nd year of

love and be loved.
 

Morale down and im stuck with work loads.

Good Luck Eju!

5.27am mungkin phone call terakhir aku received dari Eju until jumaat minggu depan. Die n kwn2nya ade practical practice kat hutang simpanan triang, N9 yg mungkin terakhir sebelum die tauliah bulan satu ni..huu..seingt aku, last aku rse sedih disebabkan sayu masa mak aku nk g umrah dulu..macam2 feeling bercampur baur... n now, i can feel the same feeling as before bile Eju call ckap nk bertolak... Ya Allah, lindungi la dia..selamatkanlah die dr segala bahaya dan kejahatan..Amiin...huhu...no msgs, no phone calls, no video calls, even worst no news from him..mcm mane la nk survive seminggu ni..cepat la tauliah Eju, even org ckp after tauliah lagi susah, tp mase tu mungkin u da get used in everything and bukan dlam learning process lagi..Haih...( - -"). RISAUNYEEE.....

i hope that i can live normally for this whole week..kamu org kuat, ezla!!!..arghh!!,Grrrr!!!,Huhhh Huhhh!!!...kuatkan?hhehe..bila la aku nk terbiasa dengan hidup mcm ni...mungkin lagi setahun, due, tiga, sepuluh tahun..atau mungkin aku takkan penah phm dengan kerjaya die. i shud support him, aite?i will support him in whatever for my entire life...even kalo ditakdirkan jodoh tak pjg sekalipon.. U deserved everyone's support dear.. i shud be more positive as you, more optimis, confident and tough as you.

My dear Eju, pls take care.. tolong jaga eju utk saya org2 N9, seluruh isi alam di hutan simpan triang...pls pls pls take care of eju for me. i'll wait for you here ok..slamat pergi n pulang (huwaaaa...sedih!), selamat balik jb after friday ni eh( eheh!cuti raya aji)..jangan makan smbal kacang n bilis tu byk2..pedas sgt..nnt yak-yak kang...hehe..

ishhh...jgn la tgok i camtu...*blushh*

so, now start my waiting period till friday. will miss you badly dear.Sobs..

life treat me

good morning sunshine. since the day i understand how world and how life will treat me, i always put the worst case choices in my front row list. to accept something that slightly/totally out of our desire is hard. to keep in mind that life isn't bout wining and will sometimes turn into bitch is not easy. we have to know the down and heart broken side of it. life for me is about gaining. what u gained for yr creator,yrself, family, friends, and somebody we even didn't know. the outcome of doing something in yr life is a gain regardless it is a lost or a gain. In real, it will always a gain.

reminiscing our good old days

morning fellas!
did i tell that me n eju share our graduating time together?yes, that was our most memorable week ever . because it happen once in a lifetime,we've decided to hire a photographer and enjoy the photography session together. it was amazingly fun because we both is there. "hes the one who always captured me"..haha..so, there goes only me in the photos selalunye. ahhhhh! how i want to live in those days again. happy =)). thnks eju! you the one who broke me thousands and makes my day by millionnsss. *grateful mode*

i love this.sunny showering!

when picture speaks...

this pic was taken by eju.ahahha..it makes me laugh cause this really represent my blog.. ahhaha..hahahha...
a SOS and EZLA. if u combine it SOSEZL...hahaha..cant stop laughing..

p/s: sos for my blog name is not sos tomato sos cili ok..it is save our souls..hahaha..tp kalo nk ingt camtu...suke ati you lah!hahahaha(gelak lagi)...puppye!!!

L.O.V.E

moment of happiness. for whatever people said and said and said bout us. i glad to have such a cool and understanding boyfriend as u are!love you!!!

im feeling good..

the real reason i blog is to paste whatever that i consider beautiful in my life or surround me. so that i wont loose it. i write when i want to write.but most of the times, i read. yes, i read my blog more than i write in here. just because everything happen in my life leave a wonderful moment that deserve to be kept forever.

Excited kills me. I'll end up suffered with major frustating feeling.

my true addiction

hyeloo you!

ok, this will probably be my last post bout maysaa snood.i love it so muuuuuuccccchhhhh...im not totally suits it. but, dont care la babeh.nk gune jugak!!..the snood is super simple and light. the fabric is chiffon, black in colour and the details is not that detailed, its soooooo damn fragile basic sewing. so, i hope this snood will stays long with me cause im planning to use this snood till it cant be worn anymore( like my ordinary black bawal!!).ok, the end(i hope this is the real end for maysaa posting..huu)

me wearing maysaa.simple isit?

today, was a long day where i hv to follow my sister to shop her daughter's baju raya and haa it was tiring. each year where 'this exactly' time happen, i get so excited and active not only searching my nieces clothes but mine too!!yeah, kakak will belanja atleast for a simple present for me. hihihi..hey! its not easy to control the girls, to drove them safe, to carry them while they cannot stand to walk..hahha.., and to hold my puasa when they just eat their Mc Value Meal after hours of shopping( in this case,' their' includes kakakkkkkk!!!arghhh) and i deserve something!!!

i fall in love with this right after i looked at it. i dont know.. this might because of hana tajima or the rich girl with big and little Z influences.haha..and friends, i choose a jean with super huge bottom(bell bottom jean) by sumerset bay (okay now u can laugh!) and till now , i think im ok with it but few noises in my brain trying to give me some clues that ("u're not as skinny as them.. Worst,  u're not skinny at allll!!!") hahahahah...yeah, maybe i will send it for some alteration, at least to reduce the diameter..lol!

aannnnnddddddd, thats the jean!!hahaha..i love it!but not sure gonna use it or not.hohoho

my mom said, its too big but my dad said 'eh ok la..yours punye dulu2 laaagiiii la besar'....HAHAHA.sorry mom.tepaksa gelakkan mom kat sini..well momma, yr pants now in my closet!

k all, im blessed cause the jean cost me zero.tq again, sister.

dear maysaa

hye people

if u read my last post, i was busy describing about the 'thing' that i waited for so long(not really actually). and guess what my dear friendssss....its finally arrived!!!!

meet my lovely maysaa. even me, didnt hv the chance to look at it, live.so, i cant describe anything now.  i hope its fine cause i spent quite big amount of $$ for it.*cross fingers*

i dont know how i gonna look with that but its not really matters, the thing is i love that 'thing'. haaa..true. im the one who always bought something that i pretty sure i not gonna use it.but just because im in love with it, i gave up my money.Okay, make the long shorts. how many time i hv to say im excited but hell yeah!!  im EXCITED!!. gonna pick up it later after work.

p/s: cdt to hudds for the pic
p/p/s: cdt to nadia's credit card tooo..lol

nothing much but a little changes.

oh hello everyone,
how nice is to be alone in the office accompanied by this weird aircond sound.hmm. but still it is a blessing to me.actually, there is  time i think i'll be more productive, active, creative and some more posit-ive when im alone.this fresh air. i dont hv to breath the same oxygen with others. 

something happen lately, regarding my inner personality that i will say hv changed. i dont know whether change is the right word..but, thats it. fyi, nothing more exciting for me now than to wait my long journey and most higher mileage things ever in my life.hahaha. and im counting hours and minutes, keep looking to my handphone if its there any msg or miscall related bout that. be patient girl!talking bout that, as far as i can remember i actually spent toooo much on the same thing. =((

that is one story.put it aside, another is hari raya. ive never been this excited for hari raya ok! well, the meaning for each of special day for me is simple. when my mom happy, so do i. u get it?? yeah. i promise mom to pay for her curtains and cushion cover. anddddddd....that was actually not i meant to do at the first state, i actually want to share the pay. but when i look to mom's happy face hearing bout that. i accidentally said, "ok ma, i support u nye curtain n cushion cover upah', i turn back and said silently "wth!mahal la bongok!!!" ahhahahhaahhah. but yup, most important is willingness to help, to share, to concern about whats going on and 100% of guarantee, my mom wont let me pay it by myself..sweet mommy..(hope shes reading...pls ma..lol)

i shud get back to work. this few weeks was the busiest weeks ever for me cause i hv to do 3 works at time. a research student (actually most highest commitment), a tuition teacher ( that boys killing meee!!) and as a devoted sales promoter( family demand..hahaha)..and not to forget as a driver tooo!!!! to my beloved and sengal sister which actually dont hv a driving license and belagak berani bawak kerete but this is festive season woman. u think, police officer will be kind to you???in your dream!. ok, off now. works load!

tvgc honey!chow.

Ramadhan

hello peeps, happy ramadhan to you..ya ya i know, im late.but tsokay...ramadhan satu bulan kot. masih lagi terasa excited utk ke pasar ramadhan@ PARAM?masih masih?masih lagi pegi terawikh?haahaha..some people didn't agree for certain pe'el atau sikap yang hanya utk ramadhan. katanya, hipokrit. but for me, nemind...as long as we hv our sacred way to connect to our All-Mighty. regardless the month, the duration, the time, the way,and the expression. sebab pd bile2 masa tuhan itu pasti menerima kita, jd kalaulah ramadhan ni sbg pintu utk kita bermula. tak jd masalahkan??? lebih baik ada dari tiada. lebih baik sikit dari kosong. lebih baik pernah dari tak penah lansung. cthnye, masa ramadhan ni, kita nk bersedekah..bulan bulan lain kite tak penah terpikir nk bersedekah pon.tak jd masalah... bagus la kita penah sedekah sekali di bulan ramadhan dr tak penah lansung wat seumur hidup. pahalanya tetap masuk buku even sekali. xrugi.tp lagi bgus kalau berterusan. huhu. thats my humble thought.tamat dakwah sekali sekala sy


da berkurun act write this post but internet connection hampeh duh!

♥ ♥ a very short meeting ♥ ♥

camwhoring syok sendiri sbb tak dilayan pon.sobs.

10 august was my super memorable sahur. it was unexpected and surprised.infact, till now, im still happy. terima kasih daun selasih. Geee..=))

Bile dipikir balik.. Tade org membenci tanpa sebab.. Tade org tade sebab utk mmbenci. Jd, mungkin aku ni terlampau mbencikan.hmmm

emotional sponge

when i read through one magazine, im struck with bold letters describing something really related to me. the stress was there. seriously, am i an emotional sponge???

what makes me feel the title?yes,  i tend to dive into others. i love to hear sincere stories, am the one who feel it not just listen to it. to absorb the pain and to cheer up the moment. im a listener.regardless,a good or a bad one.

i should proud of myself in first place,  i create a bonding with them. an imaginary relation. i wanna share, i want to help, im offering my service to please based on the circumstances. but the other sides, was unexpected. somehow it saddened me. burdening me indirectly. thebadof beingagoodlistener. its happen to me who engage with the act of soaking up all the things without knowing whether i need, want or deserve it?

because im over melancholic by nature, so sensitive till i tend to absorb all the energy.it ended hooked me with never ending stories until i participated or connected to it.worst, i overwhelmed by emotions simply because im to empathetic. im full with wish to see them to be happier. take the burden from them and placed it on my own shoulder.my brain automatically respond and interpret the storyline and start working the thing i said before. 

and now, i realized something. something teach me about something. not that im not willing to do, but why should me interfere. i should learn to stop my mind to accept, breath deep and tell myself, "its ok for you to do that, nobody will wrongs you.its find dear" 

ihavetologicallythinkthingsandtellmyselfitsnotabnormalorwierdorfreak. spirit high and spirit up dear ezla!!!

Mr

wherever you are,
please take care. i guess, i miss you.

i can notice whether the confident is pure. she creates a fake one, so she can hide behind her truth.

arghhh

nak shopping lah!!!!

sy tak marah awk..

awk,

saya nk ingtkan something kat awk, saya tak memusuhi dan bermusuh dengan awk..sy hormatkan ape yg awk nak.sy tahu awk geram,marah dengan keputusan saya. lelagi ape yg ada dengan sy ni dekat dengan awk.sy faham.Awk xyah nk cr pasal dengan saya ke pe utk wat sy sakit ati ke ape ke k...nnt awk penat sendiri...sy ok je kat sini. sy tak marah awk pon.. sy buat pon setakat nk amek berat tentang someone yg penah dulu amek berat pasal saya. tu je..tade lelebih.awk jgn salah faham ye.

dan pilihan sy buat awk fikir sy ni sanggup tu la sanggup ini la..mcm sy jahat sgtkan.sy pikir mende ni bkn dalam masa yang singkat. sblm awk ckp2 lagi sy da pikir mende ni. dlm hidup ni, ade byk pilihan, ade mcm2. bile da ade pilihan ade byk pulak jalannye.. mungkin awk silap buat pilihan dulu. mungkin sy silap buat pilihan sekarang.mungkin jalan sy pilih salah. banyak kemungkinan.. bile dulu awk diamkan, sy tunggu. sy harap, awk diam smpai tibe2 byk pulak alasan awk kasi kat sy.sy pelik kalo dr dulu duluu duluu betahun2 dlu awk wat mcm skang kan bgus. skrg, bile da jadi mcm ni, awk lagi berminat nk bercerita pasal sy sini  sana kat org2, dr masa kita dekat dulu..awk tak puas hati ke ngn sy?

tp bile awk gebang2 psl org2 temasuk sy n sesape lah lagi..senanye tade faedah tau wak, sy nk awk tahu, tak cool la awk menggelabah sgt..rilek sudah wak, sbb, semua nya mesti ade sebab..bile kita rapat n dekat dulu kan, awk tade pon nk bercakap buruk...da camni, byk pulak buruknye...kelakarlah..hahaha.tp sy tahulah, awk bergebang2 ni sbb awk geram..tp kitrg bace je, dgr je ape awk tulis..sume tu akan smpai kat kitrg jugak even kitrg tak cr...tadelah terasa ati mane pon..cume kesal sikit2 tu ade la..tade pon rse sakit ati ke marah ke nk bergadoh ke rse loya rse meluat..tp rse kelakar and rse cam "haaaa...da agak daaaaaa..." tu ade la...

and pada awk yg laen,

sy tahu awk..sy tahu sgt2...awk cepat lupe sape awk senanye. kalo awk kata ktrg teruk..awk berpuluh2 kali teruk rasenye.. time senang jgnlah jadikan org laen musuh sbb nnt time awk susah, awk menangis sane sini menjaja cerita sedih awk.. jangan la rse tak pernah buat silap n bajet good sgt..jgn suke buat/ manipulate cite..last2 org tahu jugak..buat malu je...

n tak pyh cover the truly you coz everybody know it oredy..sume org tahu cerita awk dulu2..sebelum ni, awk dgn sape, watpe...sy tahu la.tp takde org perfect, xde org suci bersih..ingt tu. ade tahapnye utk kite mengata org, dan ade baiknye...sblm mengata org, tgok diri sendiri... n sebelum mengata org, pikir dulu kite penah tak terlibat ngn org tu... penah tak mintak tolong, penah tak kongsi itu ini, penah tak org tu bagi kebahagian dia even sikit kat kita..

oklah, hari ni.. kawan sy bgtau something yg sy rse sgt patut kita pikir..
adakah yang berlaku kat kita ni semuanya kebetulan? or wujud ke kebetulan dlm life kite?

kla, ingt tau sy tak marah awk berdua..

"   standing in the rain, 

       ain't gonna leave you dry.. "

love is hard

"Kicks so hard,

Breaks your bones.
Cuts so deep
it hits your soul.
Tears your skin and
makes your blood flow.
It's better that you know

That love is hard"

i don't know what actually happen to me.but this song keeps repeating inside me.i guess life wanna give me some clue, maybe.and it really makes me think twice.♥ is truly hard friends.

ape nak jadi jadilah...
g mati la dengan semua2 ni.
shitttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ble kte sudah tahu segalanya tentang kisahnya yg dahulu.rase sentap.rase sakit dan sedih.

Tp itu dulu,zaman hingusan.

Ok.

i wonder why everything happens in my life happened.

why we need to meet someone only to leave them later.

why i heard whispering voice every time i try to sleep.

why i always given two choices and need to choose only one.

and why there is why ??

good night people.

bubbye life

welcome dreams

takdir itu rezeki or rezeki itu takdir?

tahukah kamu ape itu takdir?
last week, ade due mende yang buatkan aku lebih percaya pd takdir. bukan selama ni tak percaya, tp kali ni mende yg happen buat aku terpikir betape betol takdir itu wujud.

dan bg aku, takdir dan rezeki sangat bersangkut paut. kerana cerita aku ni berkaitan kedua duanya skali..

adela 2-3 minggu lepas, aku fall in love with one gelang ni..sgt cantek bg aku..hitam and gold..mmg masuk jiwa raga lah. aku jumpe gelang ni mase g junk sale..tp at that time aku rse gelang tu sgt mahal..rm39 utk segelang je.so cam.err tape la kan..and aku just tgok and simpan minat je la.
tapi, mase ritu..sempat gak aku smbar nme card kedai yang jual gelang tu..mane tahu dapat gaji bley la beli kan..huu..and minggu lepas, aku tertengok card kedai tu n tergerak hati nk beli...so, piep, eey and me g la danga city mall utk survey that gelang..OWH!!!sgt happy nmpk gelang tu still ade kat kedai tu...excited gile tp ntah kenapa aku mcm lek2 je nk jln2 dlu..meaning aku tak beli agi la..kitrg jenjalan to choc fair dulu la kan.

then, slps ke choc fair tu...aku rse nk sgt beli..da kompem akn beli..so cam oret, aku g kedai tu.ckp nk beli..but tetibe, ade pekerje sorg lg tgh pgg that gelang, de kata org ni nk beli(cust de la..)
aku cam errrr...nk dkt sebulan aku tunggu, mende tu still ade, the day aku nk beli, first time still ade, 2nd time, da org len sambar..dah la org tu still ade dlm kdai means aku nmpk org tu beli my fav gelang..betapa tade rezekinya aku kt gelang tu...sobs..tpe la...mungkin ade sbb knp slame ni nk beli, tp mesti tak jd..

tp aku strong je..even kecewa tp aku tak sedih pon tak dpt that gelang..tros g metrojaya and beli gelang2 ni as ganti.lovin it!!fuh..rupenye ni kot rezeki aku..ok, utk bulan ni..no more gelang ok..

and. the 2nd story is something that i really hope nk dpt.tp towards the end, rse mmg tak mungkin bley dapat..berkat doa semua org, and usaha.Alhamdulillah, mmg betul2 kat line nye..rezeki betol..kalo diikutkan terlapau sikit barrier antara dpt and tak dpt.tp Allah pilih aku utk dapat.Alhamdulillah...tak sia2 segala yang kita usahakan bersama..syukur sgt..

thanks to family and friends yg byk sgt support aku mase undergrad ni.InsyaAllah lepas ni nk smbg master.semoga aku pilih jalan yang betul utk mase depan aku..dan, aku percaya setiap ape yang kite lalui adelah takdir dan rezeki kita.

"most thing in my life happen without a plan

through the journey, i did not expect more than just a surprise."

i said so i hate 9

its 837 still no him. me trembling hard.

its 840 i saw him. me smile huge.

i passed the 9. miserable me.

if i hv power to stop the clicking time.

i fail myself, sure.

thnks having me for yr weekend.happy back to work.

may success be with you forever dear.

29th may of 2010

it was not sad

it just some part that i don't want it to be happen again in future

the day came out to the end 

it was splendid and blissful

thank you for being such you

thank you for able to teach me what is what and which is which

thanks for being parts of my twenties

i'll never let this go and fade

i'll never loose the shape

u're there to keep it strong

u're here to survive this and  that

u're always special pls dare not to forget

with times we'll learn, with times we'll connect

happy birthday to me.happy turning 23.
may many more wonderful years waiting for us

thanks.its 23.sweet.





i seriously x want to face 0900hrs sunday. i hate it. im not good to deal with that.
till we meet again next ya.tc!

rejoicing time

my weekend was totally awesome.

had very nice outing with him.

watched 3D SHREK-yippieeeeeeee..so excited lah!

tutti-frutti-ing 

first time for subway

bought nice loose kemeja for R24.9-yeayyyy for me!!!

ok.thats all.

 burok cam berok kite kan..tatau la, org len gune 3D spec ni comel je.
kite pulak cm burok semacam je kan wak..

thanks for the wonderful breakfast ya.

hope to see you this week.okkk...i know, i shudn't put high hope on this.

bubye u and u.

tc!

p/s : going back to jb with my geraham teeth growing inside my mouth was damn painful. like this teeth wanna eat everything inside including my gum, all my tissues and even my tongue. adeh!