emotional sponge

when i read through one magazine, im struck with bold letters describing something really related to me. the stress was there. seriously, am i an emotional sponge???

what makes me feel the title?yes,  i tend to dive into others. i love to hear sincere stories, am the one who feel it not just listen to it. to absorb the pain and to cheer up the moment. im a listener.regardless,a good or a bad one.

i should proud of myself in first place,  i create a bonding with them. an imaginary relation. i wanna share, i want to help, im offering my service to please based on the circumstances. but the other sides, was unexpected. somehow it saddened me. burdening me indirectly. thebadof beingagoodlistener. its happen to me who engage with the act of soaking up all the things without knowing whether i need, want or deserve it?

because im over melancholic by nature, so sensitive till i tend to absorb all the energy.it ended hooked me with never ending stories until i participated or connected to it.worst, i overwhelmed by emotions simply because im to empathetic. im full with wish to see them to be happier. take the burden from them and placed it on my own shoulder.my brain automatically respond and interpret the storyline and start working the thing i said before. 

and now, i realized something. something teach me about something. not that im not willing to do, but why should me interfere. i should learn to stop my mind to accept, breath deep and tell myself, "its ok for you to do that, nobody will wrongs you.its find dear" 

ihavetologicallythinkthingsandtellmyselfitsnotabnormalorwierdorfreak. spirit high and spirit up dear ezla!!!

Mr

wherever you are,
please take care. i guess, i miss you.

i can notice whether the confident is pure. she creates a fake one, so she can hide behind her truth.

arghhh

nak shopping lah!!!!

sy tak marah awk..

awk,

saya nk ingtkan something kat awk, saya tak memusuhi dan bermusuh dengan awk..sy hormatkan ape yg awk nak.sy tahu awk geram,marah dengan keputusan saya. lelagi ape yg ada dengan sy ni dekat dengan awk.sy faham.Awk xyah nk cr pasal dengan saya ke pe utk wat sy sakit ati ke ape ke k...nnt awk penat sendiri...sy ok je kat sini. sy tak marah awk pon.. sy buat pon setakat nk amek berat tentang someone yg penah dulu amek berat pasal saya. tu je..tade lelebih.awk jgn salah faham ye.

dan pilihan sy buat awk fikir sy ni sanggup tu la sanggup ini la..mcm sy jahat sgtkan.sy pikir mende ni bkn dalam masa yang singkat. sblm awk ckp2 lagi sy da pikir mende ni. dlm hidup ni, ade byk pilihan, ade mcm2. bile da ade pilihan ade byk pulak jalannye.. mungkin awk silap buat pilihan dulu. mungkin sy silap buat pilihan sekarang.mungkin jalan sy pilih salah. banyak kemungkinan.. bile dulu awk diamkan, sy tunggu. sy harap, awk diam smpai tibe2 byk pulak alasan awk kasi kat sy.sy pelik kalo dr dulu duluu duluu betahun2 dlu awk wat mcm skang kan bgus. skrg, bile da jadi mcm ni, awk lagi berminat nk bercerita pasal sy sini  sana kat org2, dr masa kita dekat dulu..awk tak puas hati ke ngn sy?

tp bile awk gebang2 psl org2 temasuk sy n sesape lah lagi..senanye tade faedah tau wak, sy nk awk tahu, tak cool la awk menggelabah sgt..rilek sudah wak, sbb, semua nya mesti ade sebab..bile kita rapat n dekat dulu kan, awk tade pon nk bercakap buruk...da camni, byk pulak buruknye...kelakarlah..hahaha.tp sy tahulah, awk bergebang2 ni sbb awk geram..tp kitrg bace je, dgr je ape awk tulis..sume tu akan smpai kat kitrg jugak even kitrg tak cr...tadelah terasa ati mane pon..cume kesal sikit2 tu ade la..tade pon rse sakit ati ke marah ke nk bergadoh ke rse loya rse meluat..tp rse kelakar and rse cam "haaaa...da agak daaaaaa..." tu ade la...

and pada awk yg laen,

sy tahu awk..sy tahu sgt2...awk cepat lupe sape awk senanye. kalo awk kata ktrg teruk..awk berpuluh2 kali teruk rasenye.. time senang jgnlah jadikan org laen musuh sbb nnt time awk susah, awk menangis sane sini menjaja cerita sedih awk.. jangan la rse tak pernah buat silap n bajet good sgt..jgn suke buat/ manipulate cite..last2 org tahu jugak..buat malu je...

n tak pyh cover the truly you coz everybody know it oredy..sume org tahu cerita awk dulu2..sebelum ni, awk dgn sape, watpe...sy tahu la.tp takde org perfect, xde org suci bersih..ingt tu. ade tahapnye utk kite mengata org, dan ade baiknye...sblm mengata org, tgok diri sendiri... n sebelum mengata org, pikir dulu kite penah tak terlibat ngn org tu... penah tak mintak tolong, penah tak kongsi itu ini, penah tak org tu bagi kebahagian dia even sikit kat kita..

oklah, hari ni.. kawan sy bgtau something yg sy rse sgt patut kita pikir..
adakah yang berlaku kat kita ni semuanya kebetulan? or wujud ke kebetulan dlm life kite?

kla, ingt tau sy tak marah awk berdua..

"   standing in the rain, 

       ain't gonna leave you dry.. "

love is hard

"Kicks so hard,

Breaks your bones.
Cuts so deep
it hits your soul.
Tears your skin and
makes your blood flow.
It's better that you know

That love is hard"

i don't know what actually happen to me.but this song keeps repeating inside me.i guess life wanna give me some clue, maybe.and it really makes me think twice.♥ is truly hard friends.